D Gray Man's Anime Idol
by splintered
Summary: When the Exorcists aren't finding innocence or fighting Akuma, did you know that they sing? Join our favorite Exorcists as they battle for the title of "Anime Idol." Who will win? You be the judges.
1. Lavi

**Summary:** When the Exorcists aren't finding innocence or fighting Akuma, did you know that they sing? Join our favorite Exorcist as they battle for the title of "Anime Idol." Who will win? You be the judges.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Rent,_ D. Gray Man or American Idol from which I drew my inspiration.

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**AnImE iDoL**

Welcome to Anime Idol. I will join you as your host **splintered** as exorcists make a fool of themselves. Did I say make a fool of themselves? I meant...strive to become the next Anime Idol. For our first contestant, we have Lavi who will sing **"Halloween"** from **Jonathan Larson's **musical **_Rent. _**

_--Applause as the red-headed future Bookman takes the stage--_

**Lavi singing "Halloween" from the Jonathan Larson's musical "Rent" (lyrics as followed): **

**  
**_"How did we get here?  
How the hell...  
Pan left - close on the steeple of the church_

_How did I get here?  
How the hell...  
Christmas_

_Christmas Eve - last year  
How could a night so frozen  
Be so scalding hot?  
How can a morning this mild  
Be so raw?_

_Why are entire years strewn  
On the cutting room floor of memory  
When single frames of one magic night  
Forever flicker in close-up  
On the 3D Imax of my mind_

_That's poetic  
That's pathetic_

_Why did Allen knock on Kanda's door  
And Lenalee choose that phone booth  
Back where Reever set up his drums  
Why did Komui's equipment break down _(2)

_Why am I the witness  
And when I capture it on film  
Will it mean that it's the end and I'm alone…"_

**Vote Lavi Anime Idol 01!**

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**Author's Notes:** This song always reminded me of Lavi, especially with the last stanza. _'Why am I the witness?'_ I guess I could just hear Lavi question his existence as the future Bookman. But whereas Mark (from _Rent_) captures it on film, our favorite red-head would just chronicle the _Exorcists' Tales_ (1) with words. I mean, he is a Bookman, after all.

(1) Now there's an idea for a fic.: Instead of Chauncer's _Canterbury Tales, _have Lavi write the _Exorcists' Tales. _Pending fic possibly under construction.

(2) Note changes in above lyrics

If anyone has any song requests concerning any characters, please let me know. ;)


	2. Kanda

**Summary:** When the Exorcists aren't finding innocence or fighting Akuma, did you know that they sing? Join our favorite Exorcist as they battle for the title of "Anime Idol." Who will win? You be the judges.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to_ "Crank that Soldier Boy",_ D. Gray Man or American Idol from which I drew my inspiration.

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**Backstage with the Exorcists: **

This was ridiculous, Kanda thought. Who is Soulja Boy and what the heck is that dance? He didn't know how Lavi convinced him to do this song. And the dance too! Both Lavi and Soulja Boy should die an atrocious death for introducing both to the world. And Lavi should burn in Hell just for making him do the song and dance.

"You don't know Soulja Boy, Yuuuu?" the redhead had replied incredulously when the samurai told him.

Of course he didn't! Who did Lavi think he was? Kanda had wanted to bite the future bookworm's head off right then and there (like he probably would have normally done), but instead he settled to shake his head.

"Well….I could teach you!"

And so Kanda was stuck singing "Crank Dat Soldier Boy" by Soulja Boy for their Anime Idol contest. It wasn't his choice by any means. He much rather sing a song about being misunderstood like "Welcome to my Life" by Simple Plan, but alas, Lavi wouldn't have it. And Kanda wasn't sure he knew all the lyrics to that Simple Plan song either. But at least it didn't have this ridiculous dance!

Hearing their host splintered (probably some bimbo that Komui hired because Lenalee wouldn't keep the man company) introduce him, Kanda decided to get his punishment over with.

Who knows, perhaps enough fans would vote for him. This was a contest after all, and Yuu Kanda did not lose contests!

If Lavi made him sweat by doing this dance and sing this stupid song, then his fans better sweat for him and vote!

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**AnImE iDoL**

splintered: Welcome back to Anime Idol. Once again I am your host **splintered** and your next contestant will be …. Please welcome **Yuu Kanda**, who will be singing an excerpt from **"Crank that Soldier Boy"** by **Soulja Boy**! Remember, please vote for your favorite Anime Idol as well as your requests! You are the judges! How do you think of their performance? The Black Order will do their best to comply with your wishes!

_-Applause as exorcist Yuu Kanda takes the stage-_

**Kanda singing and dancing and excerpt to "Crank that Soldier Boy" by Soulja Boy (lyrics as followed): **

_Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe  
Watch Me Crank It  
Watch Me Roll  
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy  
Then Super Man Dat Hoe  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now Watch Me Yuuuu!  
(Kanda Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now Watch Me Yuuuu!  
(Kanda Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now Watch Me Yuuuu!  
(Kanda Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
_

**Vote Kanda Anime Idol 02!**

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**Author's Notes: **This song choice is sorta obvious isn't it. Besides the fact that I can't imagine our samurai singing this song, it sure would be funny if he did. And can't you imagine, Lavi teaching Kanda the 'Soulja Boy' dance that goes along with it? '_Now Watch Me Yuuuu!'  
_

I apologize if it was at all out of character. I haven't read or watched _D. Gray Man_ in a while, so bear with me. Again, if anyone has any song request concerning any characters, please let me know. And be sure to review! Remember, you are the judges and will ultimately decide who gets voted off and who will continue performing more songs for your entertainment!


	3. Allen

**Summary:** When the Exorcists aren't finding innocence or fighting Akuma, did you know that they sing? Join our favorite Exorcist as they battle for the title of "Anime Idol." Who will win? You be the judges.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _"If I Ruled the World,"_ D. Gray Man or American Idol from which I drew my inspiration.

* * *

**Backstage with the Exorcists: **

Allen Walker did not sign up to be in a singing contest when he joined the Black Order, but when Komui threatened to have his robots chase him again, Allen knew he had to agree. Those robots were as scary and formidable as the older Lee sibling.

"Che, how can you fight Akuma when you're afraid of a few robots?" Kanda had criticized.

"Kanda, those robots are evil!" Allen shuddered. Actually, Komui was evil, but he swore he would never hear the end of it if he admitted that!

"Don't worry, Allen, I'll protect you!" a redhead bookworm said, wrapping one arm around the white-haired exorcist's waist and affectionately tugging on Kanda's arm with the other.

"Lavi? Where did you come from? Weren't you on a mission?"

"Let go of me, damn Rabbit!"

"Well, I came back and I will teach you both songs to win!" Lavi promised.

Somehow, to Allen's amazement, the future bookworm got Kanda to agree to learn some song and dance by Soulja Boy. For Allen, Lavi handed him some lyrics and sheet music to some boy band and told him to practice.

From the looks of it though, Kanda did pretty well in the competition and received some great feedback. There were even requests for Kanda to perform again.

Allen, however, hoped to could do half as well. At least it was Lavi and not Kanda that was tutoring him on his singing abilities and stage presence. He could almost hear the Japanese exorcist threatening him if the reverse situation were ever to occur ("Do it again, damn bean sprout!"). Although next to Lavi, Allen felt intimidated for different reasons. Allen swore Lavi must have been in a boy band in his past life. He was so good at it!

If not for Mana and his musical training, Allen didn't know where he would be. Not that Lavi let him play the piano (or knew of his and Mana's secret code), but music was music, right? So he practiced.

Allen hoped his fans would approve of his efforts and vote for him.

_Well, this was it_, Allen thought as he heard their host, splintered, introduce him to the stage.

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**AnImE iDoL**

**splintered**: Once again, welcome back to Anime Idol. My name is **splintered** and your next musical guest will be **Allen Walker.** Remember, if you want Allen to rule your world, please vote for him! He will be singing **"If I Ruled the World"** by **Big Time Rush**. Now without further ado, here's ….. Allen!

_-Applause as exorcist Allen Walker takes the stage-_

**Allen singing "If I Ruled the World" from Nickelodeon boy band Big Time Rush: **

_Ya know it's ya boy Allen Walker._

_If I ruled the world, no one in the world would ever stop smiling_

_If I ruled the world, every person got love and never be crying_  
_And I'd break all the borders down, when I shake the ground_  
_If I ruled the world, I'd dream out loud_

_So everybody get up, up, out of your seats_  
_Kick off your shoes like you're down at the beach_  
_Jump up, up, up on the beat singing ayo, ayo, ayo_  
_Up, up, out of your seats,_

_Be who you are love is all you need_  
_All of us geeks, freaks, and ex-sore-cease singing ayo..._  
_If I ruled the world_  
_I would give it, give it all to you_  
_Give it, give it, give it all to you_  
_If I ruled the world_  
_I would give it, give it all to you_  
_Give it, give it, give it all to you_

**Vote Allen Anime Idol 03!**

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Author's Note: Huge thank you to **BloodBlackRose77** for the request! I hope you approved. Note that some of the lyrics were revised, but I did my best to keep it the same number of syllables so the beat would stay the same.

Remember, you are the judges in this contest, so your requests and reviews of each performance will keep the contest going. If you would like to see a certain performer or hear a certain song, don't hesitate to vote! Your votes, reviews and requests will keep the performers returning to the stage! **  
**


	4. Lenalee

**Summary:** When the Exorcists aren't finding innocence or fighting Akuma, did you know that they sing? Join our favorite Exorcist as they battle for the title of "Anime Idol." Who will win? You be the judges.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _"S & M,"_ D. Gray Man or American Idol from which I drew my inspiration.

* * *

**Backstage with the Exorcists: **

Lenalee Lee was backstage getting ready getting ready for her big singing debut. Although her long dark hair had not grown out yet (now it rested at her shoulders) — something that she was still quite self-conscious of — she had borrowed a long black wig for the contest. Now, she was running a brush through the long dark strands that cloaked her back and just below her waist.

_Perhaps I should pull it back_, she thought, for old times sake. Her brother had always loved her long hair though sometimes she thought he was more upset than she was when she lost it.

"My beautiful sister," Komui had cried, hugging her tightly. "Your hair," he cried, mourning its loss. But the big softie had probably been frightened for his sister's life and was crying over her hair as an excuse.

Oh Lenalee did love her older brother. He was the only blood relative she had left and she owed so much to him. He had made her time at the Order so much happier and brighter, and it was thanks to him that they did things like having singing contests at headquarters.

"There," she said, admiring herself in front of her full-length mirror. Yes, pulling her hair back was a much better idea, Lenalee thought. It made her feel much more normal. She had used to pull her hair back in pigtails so it wouldn't get in the way while she was out battling Akuma, and doing that again — that ritual. It was amazing how such a simple ritual made her feel so much better. The weight of the two long pigtails seemed to give her balance, especially as she put on thigh-high black stiletto heels that replaced her signature dark boots.

And to top it all off, black fishnet tights and a super-short and sexy mini-skirt.

"That's better," she thought as she gazed at her appearance in the mirror. It was ironic how the long dark strands of hair resembled whips hanging off the side of her head — especially given the song she was about to sing.

"Uh, please don't sing this song in front of your brother," Lavi had said nervously, as if one of Komui's legions of robots was on the lookout and would see the future bookworm alone with Lenalee.

Of course, Lavi was hardly alone with Lenalee. Allen was standing by his side, looking at the music the bookworm had given her.

"Uh, Lavi, what does S and M stand for?" the white-haired exorcist said innocently.

"Shush," Lavi said as one of his hands flew to cover Allen's mouth. "Not so loud. The chief might hear?"

"But what does it stand for?"

"Che, it stands for sadism and masochism, stupid bean sprout," Kanda said while walking by and overhearing their conversation.

"Thank you, Kanda," Allen smiled to which Kanda grumbled. Allen had discovered that smiling at the Japanese exorcist unnerved the other even more, and also that Kanda wouldn't stop calling him by his favorite nickname. Usually when Allen corrected Kanda on his name, it resolved to another fight between the two.

"Now why am I talking to you? Get out of my way!"

Lenalee, Lavi and Allen could hear Kanda muttering something about stupid bean sprouts and their stupid questions as he walked away.

To this, Lenalee smiled. It was nice to have friends and family whom cared about one another. Even though Kanda was in a grumpy mood once again, the Chinese girl could tell the Japanese exorcist cared when he answered Allen's question.

Although Lenalee had all the people she cared about close to her here at the Order, she hoped other people would also care enough to vote for her. Or vote for her comrades. With the whips in her hair and her final prop to her ensemble— the chains at her fingertips — Lenalee Lee was ready to perform.

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**AnImE iDoL**

splintered: Welcome back to Anime Idol! I am your host, **splintered,** and your next contestant will be …. **Lenalee Lee**, singing **Rihanna's "S & M."** Remember, please vote for your favorite Anime Idol as well as continue with your requests! You are the judges! The Black Order will do their best to comply with your wishes!

_-Applause as exorcist Lenalee Lee takes the stage-_

**Lenalee singing and dancing and excerpt to "S & M" by Rihanna (lyrics as followed): **

_Na na na na_  
_Come on_  
_Na na na na_  
_Come on_  
_Na na na na na_  
_Come on_  
_Na na na na_  
_Come on, come on, come on_  
_Na na na na_

_Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh)_  
_There's no way I'm turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh)_  
_Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

_Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)_  
_Out the box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh)_  
_The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)_

_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it_  
_Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_  
_Sticks and stones may break my bones_  
_But chains and whips excite me_

_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it_  
_Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_  
_Sticks and stones may break my bones_  
_But chains and whips excite me_

_Na na na na_  
_Come on, come on, come on_  
_I like it-like it_  
_Come on, come on, come on_  
_I like it-like it_  
_Come on, come on, come on_  
_I like it-like it (Na na na)_  
_Come on, come on, come on_  
_I like it-like it_

_S-S-S & M-M-M_  
_S-S-S & M-M-M_  
_S-S-S & M-M-M_  
_S-S-S & M-M-M_

**Vote Lenalee Anime Idol 04!**

* * *

Komui Lee was pretty sure he died and had gone to heaven. It was either that or he was having the most vivid wet dream of his life. Or perhaps he was dying of a heart attack. Or perhaps all three. His little sister was singing and performing "S & M" by Rihanna to him. It must be a dream come true!

"Oh Lenalee, I would vote for you!" he wanted to scream. "I didn't know you feel this way! Let your older brother love you!"

"Uh chief," Reever said from behind Komui, with Komui's signature coffee mug in his hand. "I don't think that was the point of this contest."

Unfortunately, Reever had the misfortune of waking Komui up from his elation. The chief's nose was spurting blood and he had tears in his eyes. Frankly, it wasn't a site Reever wanted to ever witness. But in a few short seconds, that blotchy tearful face turned livid and angry.

"What are you doing? How dare you lay eyes on my Lenalee, you disgusting filthy perverted old man!"

Reever cringed and did the only thing he could do when Komui was this angry. He ran. But seriously, that Komui sure had an unhealthy obsession with his sister. Was this even normal? And to think, he only came here to deliver the bastard coffee!

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Author's Notes: Thanks so much, **Psychomantium**! I hope you enjoyed this and thanks so much for sending in your request!

Remember, to cast your votes, reviews and requests to keep this contest going! Someone wanted Arystar Krory to sing... any suggestions for what song?


End file.
